Building On
Self-confidence is not about knowing every decision you make will have a favorable outcome. It is about building evidence that you can trust yourself to make sound decisions, choose wisely, and navigate whatever outcomes life brings your way.
The following is a simple four-step framework to help build self-confidence and trust in yourself:
1. Ask: What does self-confidence look like to you? You can recognize self-confidence in other people, but what would it look like if you saw it in yourself? Take a moment to reflect on that question.
2. Ask: What benefits will you receive from becoming more confident? Would you spend less time overthinking and take advantage of opportunities you may have missed because you hesitated?
3. Identify the voice in your head. We carry many inner voices that influence how we see ourselves and can influence our decisions and choices. Perhaps it was something a parent said, a teacher who created doubts in your abilities, or a religious leader whose words shaped your beliefs, or your spouse whose opinions influenced how you see yourself.
4. Notice the conversation taking place in between your thoughts. Are they uplifting and encouraging, or do the words lean toward limiting beliefs? Your internal conversations directly influence your emotions and the choices and decisions you make.
Another way to build confidence is looking back at your successes. Think about the decisions you made that led to successful outcomes. Notice what values guided your decisions or choices. Did you lean into your value of courage for strength when fearful? Remember, when you know and identify your values, you can draw on them again and again.
Self-confidence grows by acting, not waiting until motivated. It has been proven that motivation follows action, and not the other way around.
Here’s my challenge to you: think about a decision or choice you have been putting off – something you want to act on but hesitate to pursue. Now notice the conversation taking place in your mind. Are you asking, “ How will I know I will succeed or confidently asking I trust myself to succeed!”
When my granddaughter was four years old, she wrote a story to herself that began with the words: “I TRUST ON ME.” She is now 22 years old, and those words will stay with me forever. I hope that they also remain with you as you continue GROWING AND TRUSTING ON YOU!
Josette Veltri, a Boca Pointe resident, is a certified educator and coach on loss and transition. Her purpose is to assist clients in healing and moving forward so they can go from I Can’t to I Can, One Step at a time. She can be reached at [email protected].
