Likely you’ve never been inside any place like it.
To say Kokadjo, Maine is off the beaten path would be wrong. However, it would ALSO seem right. Lilly Bay Road, which begins in Greenville, Maine, runs right through it. Kokadjo is about 11 miles from Greenville as the crow flies, and in the winter, that’s about the only way to get to it. The entrance to Lilly Bay State Park is off Lilly Bay as well but the reason to get to Kokadjo: There is the general store with the catchy name of Kokadjo General Store. It is the subject of what follows.
Leaving Greenville, a town of about 1,400 hundred people (974 is the estimate for the winter), one soon is navigating the roads I described in detail last month. To catch you up quickly, if you missed it, the phrase “asphalt roller coasters” would do it. On the way, one should stop at the state park. One reason is that it is the only thing besides trees on the road, though one can grab quick glimpses of Maine’s biggest Lake, Moosehead, in quick flashes between them, so quick that by the time I said to my spouse, “Look!” there was nothing to see but more trees.
The park isn’t much unless you’re a camper. That’s pretty much what provides visitors. It also has a beach, of sorts, that has a commanding view of the lake you kept missing on the drive. The best part of the park was the elderly gent who collects the fees. Fees? It is cheaper to enter the park than buy the family ice cream cones. Compared to most Mainers who are tight-lipped, this gent was a comparative fountain of words. Why did he turn on the fountain for us? Possibly because he was wearing a Miami Marlins t-shirt, and I told him that was our team. We got the whole story all the way back to when he pitched high school baseball, which from the looks of him, was a very long time ago. He struck me as an “Al,” though I didn’t get his name. What we also didn’t get was an understandable explanation of why, so deep in Boston Red Sox country, he was wearing a Marlins shirt. A few cars were behind us. He didn’t care. He also had a park to describe. When he had run the course of his stories, he let us in the park for free.
Back on the road, we headed to Kokadjo, population 44. Yes, you read it right—44. Why were we headed that way? Because when we asked around for something interesting to see, the general store was on everyone’s list—maybe because it is also the only thing to see.
The store presents a picture of someplace so full of “stuff” that the walls bulge, and also a picture of a place that at any moment could fall down. As one negotiates the rickety wooden stairs and grabs for the handle of the door, which hopefully won’t come off in your hand, two signs give you a warning. One tells you if you have to use the bathroom, you’re gonna have to buy something, and once you meet the proprietor, you get the feeling that without buying something, your eyes could be turning yellow, and you’d be directed to the woods. The other sign said, “This establishment protected by Smith and Wesson.” It wasn’t there for decoration.
• The store is a patchwork of three rooms and a dining room. Sectioned off from the first room is a kitchen—more a grill, than a kitchen. Watching Ms. Smith and Wesson cook up some burgers, I was glad we weren’t hungry. Describing the contents of the rooms is a challenge. If you are old enough, I would offer you Fibber Magee’s closet as a reference.
Macy’s it isn’t, but the variety is astounding, everything from red shirts that say, “Where Is Fred?” (Don’t ask, I don’t know) in both short and long sleeve, and sized from small to XXXL, to winter gear that is top of the line and priced as such. Here’s an idea of what the shopper can choose from.
Groceries and prepared food
• Basics: Essentials like milk, eggs, bread, and canned goods. We bought Clorox wipes (not because we needed to use the bathroom) and I think toothpaste.
• Snacks: Chips, candy, and other quick-bite items. A bag of nuts and chocolate caught my eye. The chocolate had that “I’ve been on the shelf for a while” look. The nuts still tasted good, and I survived them.
• Prepared food: Sandwiches, pizza, or other hot food items, depending on the day. As I mentioned, this is not fine dining, though there were some locals around a table having a few beers and waiting for their burgers. I must admit, though, the floor was clean, and the view of the lake probably made up for the taste of the food.
Camping and outdoors
• Camping supplies: Propane canisters, fire-starting materials (I saw at least three different kinds), and other necessities for setting up camp. There isn’t much I could think of for camping, starting with a tent and including what one would need outside of it and inside of it, that wasn’t there, including survival gear. “There” means shoved into cardboard boxes with the fronts cut in a big “U” shape and the contents labeled in marker on the front below the cut. And I’m not talking one or a few. The diversity of the clothing was astounding. It ran from T-shirts to flannel shirts and everything from small to XXXL.
• Fishing gear: Basic fishing tackle, lures, and bait for anglers heading to nearby lakes and rivers. I don’t know much about this stuff. I just know there was a lot of it, including fly fishing equipment.
• Souvenirs: Locally themed items like T-shirts, hats, and other memorabilia.
Convenience and household goods
• Toiletries: Items like soap, toothpaste, deodorant, rolls of toilet paper, feminine products, ranging from makeup to Kotex, and other personal hygiene products.
• Household goods: A selection of common items for basic needs. Need a broom? How about a whisk broom? Mop? Maybe as a squeegee. What about a vacuum? Though to tell the truth, I wasn’t sure if it was for sale or owned by the store. There were many sizes of light bulbs, a small variety of lamps, extension cords—you name it, or you need it, it was in there somewhere.
• Beverages: Soda, water, and other drinks for refreshment. There was a large cooler with a wide selection of drinks. The selection wouldn’t match Publix, but it would match any 7-11. There was also a freezer with an assortment of ice creams and frozen treats above which was a sign that said, “TRUMP.” Not sure of the connection, although the sign might have been in that spot on the freezer because it occupied the only space left in the room.
Thinking I could strike up a conversation, I said to Miss Don’t Mess With Me, “I guess come winter, you are the lifeline for the folks who live up here.” As I said last month, “yes, they do say ‘Ay-up’ in Maine,” and that was her answer. I got nothing else except the price for what we had bought. I was impressed, though, that she had the latest in credit card readers. I was wondering, as I approached the eight or nine inches of space it took up, if I was supposed to throw a beaver skin or the like over the counter to settle up the bill.
Every so often, I am someplace and meet some people that remind me that there’s a lot of America and a lot of Americans I know nothing about. I would venture to say that would go for the 44 people in Kakudjo, Maine.Columnist and author Bill Gralnick was born and raised in Brooklyn, NY. He recently finished a humorous memoir trilogy. The first book is “The War of the Itchy Balls and Other Tales from Brooklyn.” The second is “George Washington Didn’t Sleep Here.” The recently published third is, That’s Why They Call It Work.” He is currently working on a novel. His books are available on Amazon and his other writings at https://www.williamgralnickauthor.com.
