We all experience a time when we try to run away from our emotional hurts, anger, hatred, and sadness, only to find ourselves back to the same feelings, thoughts, and behaviors. Remember, your unresolved emotions, patterns, habits, and behaviors, like your shadow, will not be far behind you, no matter how far you run or try to ignore them.
A monk once said, “Imagine being bitten by a snake and instead of trying to help yourself heal and recover from the poison, you are trying to catch the snake to find out the reason it bit you and prove to it that you didn’t deserve that.” Now read it again!
When we find ourselves stuck in an emotional battlefield, with internal conflicts between our emotions and values, STOP, look around, and ask, “What am I in conflict with and why?”
If we are unwilling to take time to reflect, brainstorm, and self-discover the what and the why the conflict is causing, we will continue to settle into “that’s just the way I am belief.”
A successful practice to follow is called the decision strategy. It is a step-by-step internal look at your conscious/unconscious choices made over the years, then decide what needs to shift, change, or end altogether. However, there is one caveat to this strategy, which is that you need to clarify your desired outcome.
The following is an example of an autobiography in four short chapters:
Chapter 1:
An individual walks down the street. There is a deep hole in the sidewalk, they fall in and think well, that is not my fault. And, it takes forever to find a way out.
Chapter 2:
The same individual walks down the same street. There is a deep hole in the sidewalk, they try to walk around it, but fall in with eyes wide open, and continue to think it isn’t my fault. Only this time it doesn’t take a long time to get out.
Chapter 3:
The same individual walks down the same street. There is a deep hole in the sidewalk; they fall in, only this time they admit it was their fault and get out immediately.
Chapter 4:
The same individual walks down another street.
I do not believe I have to explain the lesson, but if you learn nothing else from this article, remember this: YOU WILL NEVER BE ABLE TO RUN FROM YOURSELF. And, that’s something to think about!Josette Veltri, a Boca Point resident, is a certified educator and coach on loss and transition. Her purpose, to assist clients heal and move forward so they can go from I Can’t to I Can, One Step at a Time. She can be reached at [email protected]. (https://www.linkedin.com/in/josettejveltri/)
